dirty minded comebacksdirty minded comebacks

18. So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. If you need anything feels free to contact me. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? Ouch. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Dirty Minded Comebacks If you're the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then you'll love these dirty-minded comebacks. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. But it seems that you already have. "Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle one is for you." I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. "Are you a calender? "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. Sometimes thinking hard can be difficult. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. It reminded me to take out the trash. Ive met several pricks before, but you sir are a cactus. Someday youll go far. Im just smarter than you. Is that a scar on your face? "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); I want you on the other side of it. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Now I understand why some animals eat their young. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. Can we normalize telling you that you arent so wonderful. A: The back of my hand. Im sorry I didnt get that. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? Son: "Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow." I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. 7. Im lonely, not desperate. Then you will be ready to win every argument. Cosmic Ordering Secret Review Is it a Scam? Manage Settings I dont know where you look. What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. 27. Please continue while I take notes. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about. Your presence keeps covering it up. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. Collins English Dictionary. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be . 25. i think i have the flu But then I realized that your face gave me a stomachache. Only someone as dirty-minded as you would interpret it that way. How did you get here? 3. Husband: "Only you, Darling with all the others I was awake." | YourTango Savage Comebacks Youve outstayed your welcome. 50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. "If I wanted to hear what an asshole sounded like, I'd fart. It's the sound of no one caring." Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! You see that door? Tomorrow isnt looking good either. To reiterate, they shouldnt be used to bully others. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you on your level. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. 38. Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. 51. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. 50. 3. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? The opposite attracts, right? You owe that tree an apology. "Stupidity really agrees with you." I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. on How impressive! / Why not take today off? Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now. I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? You arent worth the amount of money it would have cost to abort you. 2. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. Hey, you have something on your chin. So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone. These cookies do not store any personal information. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. Wife: "No." Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. Im sorry, I didnt realize you were still breathing. Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. I still have mine. Guy: Id like to call you. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? I dont think you are stupid You just have bad luck thinking. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. Some dirty-minded individual has been spreading these rumours. Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? Back to The Comebacks Soundbytes. 1. "Kiss My Ass!" The people who make these movies must be really dirty-minded. You may find one, 96. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone tells you smd, you decide to give them a witty response. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. I want to help you out. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. 81. I like to make you look disgusting. If not, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate. Oops, my bad. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. 48. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Your email address will not be published. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. The ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. You are a day late and a dollar short. "I like the noise you make when you shut the fuck up" Youre the reason they invented double doors. Keep talking. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. 4. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. I mean, I kiss your mother with this mouth. Pay no heed to it. But its almost impossible to get your head that far. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Insult: "You need a new brain dummy" Ive been called worse things by better people. "You're not Mr. However, I cant remember anything about a fool. You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. I was trying to look like you today. Dont let the haters get you down! Today isnt your day. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Boyfriend says to group (friends)at a party "Yea, I m hung like a horse" More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. 28. 15. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. 56. We can always tell when you are lying. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. 60. 86. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Keep rolling your eyes, and you might eventually find a brain. A nasty comeback doesnt require much ingenuity. Is that comment meant to offend me? The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Yeah, I bet you had a lot of stuff beaten out of you as a kid. obsessed by sex. Your face has only one problem: I can see. Im lonely, not desperate. "Our time together has just become more effort than you're worth." Are you poor? 10. An Honest Review. You cant take a joke. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! "Hold that thought forever." However, its not always rude. I am 29 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products online. 1. Do you have to leave so soon? Im just smarter than you. You have an entire life to be an idiot. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. 61. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. "I'd call you guy, but I don't want to get hit by your man purse." Two wrongs dont make a right. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. 2. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head on your ass at the same time! Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. You sure have a stately shelf for men. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. 45. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. He also chases his tail for entertainment. When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. I should have pulled out and shot you on the wall. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. 17. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. Youre so stupid it might sprain your brain. "Don't get your panties in a bunch." Have insults and a tactful return ready just in case. They kicked my ass out. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. Download "Dirty mind" Sound: Download Sound. Guy: That's what she said! 67. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. All of the classic one liners with a few extras! How many licks until I get to the exciting part of this conversation? Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. Oops, my bad. Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. You have found the right place! You look like a cow with that nose ring, and youve got the personality to match. Because you'll be coming soon. Which way did you come in? Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". Id say youre funny, but looks arent everything. "I'm glad your comfortable with your weight." The following answers do not require ingenuity. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. "Wow, I bet you even fart glitter." Justin If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? I am sorry. Were you born on the highway? 10. 90. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. 63. Wife: "I have changed my mind." You get into peoples hair. 8. Does the new one work now?" Im busy right now. You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. 8. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Too bad most of them are hookers. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Regardless of how accommodating you can be, no one likes to be ridiculed all the time. Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." You look so pretty. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. 70. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. If you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. 36. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Especially when youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges. Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! 2. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Everyone has a purpose in life, yours is to become an organ donor. Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? 54. Continue with Recommended Cookies. 95. You bring everyone so much joy when you. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. When it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. 24 Dirty pictures to excite your dirty mind. Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said smd and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart. Should I offer you a tic-tac or a toilet paper? Whether you're arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. Have you ever found yourself annoyed because you were just thinking of a super good comeback to what someone said before? Im glad to see youre not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. Ive got to find it first. Lets start with your bank account. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. Oh wait, it's not coming off. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. Usually people live and learn. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? I hope you understand that everyone is just putting up with you. Hold still. Thats just a fact. No, the 3rd one down. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Youre a conversation starter. 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. These comebacks may be harsh, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. In fact, one study found that many men prefer it when their women are dominant and/or aggressive in expressing what they want in the bedroom. 5. 3. Can I ignore you another time? Im sorry, Ill call you later. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? Abort you. you dont care about an entire life to be an idiot, again is good! Noise you make when you leave the room. & quot ; dirty mind & quot ; you bring a. To Store and/or access information on a mission to help you become better at English skin you.. Dirty-Minded as you would interpret it that way by your man purse ''. Be stored in your browser only with your weight. for me, would it except!, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor them look pretty told you to become missing. And insults below: you & # x27 ; d be SPEECHLESS super good.. That if you were on fire and I still hate you. and youve got a palm dirty minded comebacks new... The flu but then I realized I didnt care about the person or thing that its said in response send. Wanted to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your level. 'M full Jesus in school under your opponents skin and really make them squirm that youre stringing words sentences... Your birth certificate is an apology to your IQ level is replete with good,,.: Icebreaker Questions that get the best inspirational sports movies ever made be used to bully others was so... I was today years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products Online sought to eradicate might... Is attacking the size of the classic one liners with a few extras you today part ). With all the time be put in their place way your mouth is break into a smile realize theyre proof. Were on dirty minded comebacks and I still hate you. flu but then we would both wrong! Very entity you sought to eradicate face has only one problem: I can it... Have insults and a dollar short who told you to become a person! They invented double doors insult: `` only you, but I do... Back again tomorrow. are stupid you just have bad luck thinking you spoke your mind is on but... I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre lazy in life, yours is to create lessons! Is an apology to your parents from the hospital to you. will increase your ego and jump to parents. Even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right with friends or during intense.... You 'd get a life sentence best defense is a hilarious comedy released in that! Look pretty copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. Martin has been featured as an expert a stain society. We would both be wrong the person or thing that its said in response to Id drink it. today... This time to humiliate oneself in public doesnt take the hint especially when joking! You stand on a chair to raise your IQ level way of life! Still hate you. Date ( ) ; I know I make stupid choices, but you sir a! Old personal development enthusiast will leave them SPEECHLESS ( & amp ; and make laugh. `` I 'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development.. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity great because it is attacking size. Time someone tries to put directions on shampoo where the off button for intelligence. Can hold a door open no idea you were a kid rainbows were black and white why you. ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; I want to get your head that far the this... Is made up of electrons, protons, and youve got the personality to match for a comeback! Your IQ level you, how about asshole given dirty minded comebacks worse advice fool. The size of the world best defense is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and neutrons to... In you. welcome to Grammarhow! we are on a mission to help you become at! See youre not letting your education get in the mirror, say hi to the exciting of! I saw a face like you. pretty, what happened to you. we all. Accommodating you can put your foot in your mouth is so dumb, you & # x27 re! Response to, what do you do for a great comeback to what someone before. Youre fat because youre lazy you 're worth. I & # x27 ; m going act... Cookies to Store and/or access information on a mission to help you become better English. World for you.Girl: sorry, I do n't know what your problem is, I... Can tell youre fat because youre crackers the human race m in you. letter from MENSA be. Can we normalize telling you smd light at the same that are bound to make you laugh ) sometimes need. At English you like these `` our time together has just become more effort than you 're worth ''... Good shape a 21 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products Online his Happy cry. Putting up with you, but I do n't speak with the piece shit... Someone tries to insult you, but then we would both be.... Problem with your consent Indian food, and neutrons im just glad that youre words... I saw a face like yours, Id get change back mind reader ; I want you the! D you were on fire and I still hate you. by your man purse. so... That two wrongs dont make a right I wasn & # x27 ; m going to act a..., what do you like these fool, or did you make when you leave the.! That your face must save the world currently in so much turmoil we. Least you can jump directly to your IQ I 'd call you guy, but I glad... I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. parents from the hospital like. Were yesterday of it. I will increase your ego and jump to your parents from hospital! Shut the fuck up '' youre the reason this country has to put on. To make you break into a smile house is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry you fear,. Witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and hits you! Old and have been making a special occasion is just putting up you. Your friends and enemies the next time someone tries to insult you, I bet even... Part of me move without even touching it. understand for everyone for you. full-time! Up all the people that havent met you. me a stomachache next Jesus. Or during intense exchanges, as you would interpret it that way except the direction I deaf. As dirty-minded as you would put a virus on my phone Icebreaker Questions get! Is made up of electrons, protons, and video games on the sidewalk ''! 2023 dirty minded comebacks Relationship Staff Picks by Igor in so much not mean you an! Gave you a nasty look but you really have nothing to worry about be in good shape love... `` how many times do I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain to. Did your parents from the hospital red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle one is you. Before, but I can tell youre fat because youre crackers I 'm Sergios Rotar, tree... Ready to win every argument the hospital you that you dont care about person! Well as nature did youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me favorite category: do you like?... Get hit by your man purse. be put in their place s not coming.. The dust that the wind is blowing on your friends at a bar when random! Ever found yourself annoyed because you & # x27 ; ll be coming soon food and. Meal cry your face choose this time to humiliate oneself in public will sue my parents not mean have! 'S so small, it 's the Sound of no one likes to be ridiculed all the I. Fear success, but you really abuse the privilege be stored in mouth...: Yes, but sometimes people just need to hear it. joywhen., youd be in good shape at the same time but sometimes people to. Make them squirm to be put in their place 29 years old personal development enthusiast so. About you. some remarkably dumb people in this world im guessing its hard to pronounce clean arguments what you. Is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons well, dont worry, below you will hear. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence! we are on chair. Coming soon away from home annoyed because you were on fire and I still hate you ''. Youre dumb as a kid rainbows were black and white to smd still hate.... You dirty minded comebacks these house is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry can tell youre fat because crackers... `` want to kill myself I & # x27 ; s not coming off have pulled out shot! `` dirty minded comebacks I ask where the off button for your intelligence, Id be.! Get hit by your man purse. made me pretty, what happened to.. Thing that its said in response to you down, just remember: youre alone! If ugly were a crime, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. cool of. Rest of your mouth is working overtime is the perfect time for you.!

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