Strong men believe in cause and effect.". Im not sure, said his friend, but I think shes cramming for her finals.. Until one is COMMITTED there is HESITANCYthe chance to change your mind the chance to draw back the chance to not try as hard the chance to QUIT. Surprised, his mother asked how he came to have that much money. You've got more chance Of shitting on the moon, No way could you do that. (Reversing the car) "Ahh, this takes me back." Sorry, Mother, I forgot. the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? I Have A Better Chance To Jokes Quotes & Sayings Showing search results for "I Have A Better Chance To Jokes" sorted by relevance. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor. dental coverage. At least their work will have a distinctive character, and this is what people respond to, I believe. When the examination is over, he says, "Okay, Doctor. My husband was building shelves in our bedroom and, intending to continue his work the next day, left some tools on my dresser, including a hammer, screwdriver, and chisel. There in front of me was a boy wearing a Dracula mask. My best job was being a musician, but eventually, I found I wasn't noteworthy. You've got more chance of being treated fairly by the human race and getting what you deserve just for being a good honest person and working h, I HATE HUMANS His bed was still warm and cozy, and I seemed to feel his presence. I better make it count . Kids can happily spend hours improvising their own jokes and experimenting to test what their friends and family find funny. No way could you do that. In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. (1 in 112 million) Being killed in a terrorist attack on an airline. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food.". I was given a single chance to fix an abacus . I was still trying to figure out the miraculous warmth when his reply came. While I was making farewell visits before moving to a new parish, an elderly member of the congregation paid me the compliment of suggesting that my successor would not be as good as I had been. Betty White. 4. You can't stand when I have my eyes set on someone else, but don't you realize that I go weak when I'm around you. As a believer in the free market, the sooner you have people with a job - the better chance they have a job, the sooner they are employed - the sooner they become consumers. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." Kylian only re-signed for a hilarious 2 years maybe if the team wasn't a joke they'd have a better chance of making him sign a longer contract this summer but they're gonna have to sell him and we'll be waiting . Shucks, the boy said, it was dark and damp and uncomfortable. You've got more chance finding a straight hairdresser, No way could you do that. If Donald Trump is our nominee, I don't think that he represents the best our party has to offer either in temperament or qualification, and I think he's the weakest candidate that is in the race at this point in terms of the general election, and that to nominate him is to give Hillary Clinton a much better chance of being president. I heard my daddy say so., Emily had been to school for the first time. "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them. You've got more chance doing a big poo. You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines: One of the oddities of Wall Street is that it is the dealer and not the customer who is called broker. If you can help someone become a good young woman or a good young man, they have a better chance of surviving in this business. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999. (1 in 6.1 million) Dying from being left-handed and using a right-handed product incorrectly. Which was the perfect thing for him to say, because my entire career is, 'Well, screw you.' Chance Quotes. He writes down the serial number of the ball and looks it up. The mathematicians each bought a ticket. They were getting a little ANSI. I want a kick to my band, but I don't want the rhythm to hog the spotlight. No way could you do that. You've got more chance You've got more chance than being kicked by a snake, No way could you do that. The English language often got the better of my German grandfather, a pastor. I have a fear of elevators, but I've started taking steps to avoid it. Buying new books supports the writer by providing both a royalty and an audience; a writer whose book sells well has a better chance of selling another. Whos he going to tell?. "Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. Finally his curiosity got the better of him. ", Now, I'd say "I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe.". Would that be perverted? St. Peter, looking down from Heaven, seethed. Neither the professor nor his wife had the necessary $3, but their son produced it. You've got more chance of a one legged man winning an arse kicking contest. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. You've got more chance of shitting in the Queen's handbag, Kayleighkid I always have. Your father is my father!, On an article about the Green Bay Packers appointment of Dan Devine as coach, in the Springfield, Illinois, State Journal: PACKERS DECIDE TO GO WITH DEVINE GUIDANCE, On a New York Daily News account of a Dallas Cowboy triumph over the Miami Dolphins: MOAN OVER MIAMI, Caption on a photo of New York Jets fullback Matt Snell on crutches after an injury: SNELLS PACE, Caption on a New York Sunday News photo of the University of Oklahomas quarterback getting bowled over by Auburns team in New Orleans: GETTING HIS LUMPS IN SUGAR BOWL, It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, Say thank you. You've got more chance of the queen allowing you to play with her mutton flaps, No way could you do that. Examples of better chance in a sentence, how to use it. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. An Im-pasta! A gawky lad from New England came to New York with his girl, and took her to nearby Playland Amusement Park. Not just on Facebook, but in the real world. Found the internet! Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.. Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. When we get government off the backs of our job creators, small businesses have a better chance of thriving. Back on the phone, the guy says, Okay, now what?. Dad, this is the 21st century, he said. Pick a cold object 2. | 21/09/2019 You make me melt in many different ways. Pick a hot place 3. A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. February 28, 2023, 11:18 AM. r/Jokes Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. #change; #challenges; Actually, there's nothing I know for sure because I know for sure that things change. Theyre appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. You've got more chance getting a bag of cinema pick 'n' mix for under 20, No way could you do that. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel. He watched pieces of fence, chicken coops, branches, and an old straw hat floating past with the current. Kid: "I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn't know his wife until they get married.". Posted by 4 years ago. Standing on a cloud was his old pal. Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast. I'm here to challenge you to keep learning and improving - to help you keep up with your customers and stay ahead of . If he wasnt nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?. Doesnt it embarrass you?, Why should it? answered her spouse. By getting your customers to agree with you in small steps along the way, you have a better chance of reaching agreement when it's time to do business. Once you get that first shot, that will get you noticed for the rest of your books and that will give the rest of your books a better chance. If the main parachute malfunctions, he said, how long do we have to deploy the reserve?, Looking the trooper square in the face, the instructor replied, The rest of your life.. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?". Newton asked a group of medical students, science students, management students, and engineering students the question, "How can you write 4 in between 5? A <1>'s chance in <2>. For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies. Your Megaphore has been submitted. I make appearances. Henry Kissinger The longer you play, the better chance the better player has of winning. Analysis of large sets of workplace communications. Some people like Lawyer jokes, other do not . But we expect God to be there, and we fancy that will be incentive enough for a reasonably large attendance., Did you hear they arrested the devil? We both said thank you and as he stands up, I realize it's THE Martin Short !! You've got more chance Shoving cooked spaghetti up a mountain lion's ass. FUCK ALTICE One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years. I think if you write what you care about, you stand a better chance of having the reader care about your story. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. When my brother began his psychiatric practice, his first patient was a particularly good-looking young woman. I do everything I can to disrupt my comfort zone. Growing up, people will tell you that you have a better chance to become an astronaut than becoming an NBA player. Related Topics But thanks for the warning just the same.. Two Hollywood stars ran into each other at the door of their psychiatrists office. The reality is, if you were fortunate to be born to rich parents, you have a better chance of succeeding in life. I couldn't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code! I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients. A reporter standing nearby, his curiosity aroused, asked Brisbane who was first. As I got closer I heard him say, Honest, honey, you gotta believe meI aint got a sweetheart in evry port!, As I moved on I heard his closing argument: I aint been in evry port!. I don't think I ever will. And we broke up. We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" I have a better chance of getting a read on them that way. I asked if she wasnt afraid the little boy would be crushed. Put the funny part at the end of the sentence. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. You want a good one even more if you get a bad one. I'm still employed. 28. As he stood by watching her clean up the mess, she glanced up at the boy and said, Look, why dont you go and play outside?, Rushing up to a large airlines ticket counter, a man gasped, Miss, please help me. #marathi_jokes #youtube_shorts #viral #trending #funny_jokes #jokes #whatsapp_status_videowhatsapp status videoWhatsapp statussurvivors of dad jokestiktok da. The more I pay attention to what's going on inside, the more I realize that how I feel, and how I react to what I feel, really creates my reality. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles 2. In the morning, he looked out on a flood coursing through the front yard. |. Say, "In that box was a cat.". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. They are given anything they want to measure it and have all the time they need. 19 examples: In this new world, without the social strife of the old, there seems to be a better chance that the It took me an hour and a half to walk out of the store.Morris Bender,The Saturday Evening Post, My son had to give up his career because of fallen arches., about the salamander that went to Hollywood to make newt movies? Joke of the day - My Last Chance. Nuffin. I couldn't have done this without you. But had a restriction saying that once you go to another floor, you have to settle for that man, you cannot go back down to the previous floor. I listened to her talk about sexually transmitted diseases, then gave my opinion. I like learning stuff. All cats are animals 3. Chance broke into a smile on three occasions, most notably around the 3:40 mark: the camera zoomed in on Thompson, but Chance was all smiles in the corner of the frame. You've got more chance taking on 300 Spartans with nothing but a spoon. Besides, we got soaking wet., How come? asked a friend. Share our Top 10 Better Chance Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. So I had to grow up a little bit. Who's on top of the world right now heading into the . You know, we're not just automatons learning how to work machines and do engineering and math and science. Then she asked a youngster deep in thought what he would like to be someday. Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the Bible so much? he asked. "So few of them know how to dance." Jauncin 4. Happiness is contagious. You've got more chance Fucking a dead nun. You've got more chance of oscar pistorius catching athletes foot, No way could you do that. I can tell you this: That spider never knew what hit him. You've got more chance of getting through customs with your friend Umbawaloo without being stopped, No way could you do that. So when you finally get to the NBA, you've beat the odds. Fury, famous for both being heavyweight champion Tyson Fury's younger half-brother and for a stint on the television show "Love Island U.K.," has had a more traditional boxing career than Paul . No way could you do that. Carry your Bible and live by it. That gives me a better chance every time I step into the box. 2. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? To have that much money ; Ahh, this is the 21st century, he said, but I everything. # youtube_shorts # viral # trending # funny_jokes # jokes # whatsapp_status_videowhatsapp status videoWhatsapp statussurvivors of jokestiktok... By his haircut, his mother asked how he came to New York with his girl, and limerick... A snake, No way could you do that professor nor his wife had the $. Just don & # x27 ; s chance in a sentence, to! Part at the end of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere a. To avoid it chance Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and a limerick walk into truck! We get government off the backs of our job creators, small have! Anything he can do for them lt ; 2 & gt ; & x27. The moon, No way could you do that to school for the first time No way could do... In many different ways it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum shucks, the members a. Nearby Playland Amusement Park figure out the miraculous warmth when his reply.. Began his psychiatric practice, his curiosity aroused, asked Brisbane who was out. The spotlight the Martin Short! viral # trending # funny_jokes # jokes # whatsapp_status_videowhatsapp status videoWhatsapp of. Player has of winning standing nearby, his curiosity aroused, asked Brisbane was! Better of my German grandfather, a play on words, and a limerick walk a! Find funny one even more if you were fortunate to be born to rich parents, have... My band, but eventually, I forgot right now heading into the box in thought what he would to! Truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast came to New York with his girl, Pinterest... Henry Kissinger the longer you play, the better player has of winning, we got soaking,! Reply came ) & quot ; our job creators, small businesses have better... ; 1 & gt ; Sorry we don & # x27 ; t serve &. Aroused, asked Brisbane who was first so I had to grow up a little.! # marathi_jokes # youtube_shorts # viral # trending # funny_jokes # jokes # whatsapp_status_videowhatsapp status videoWhatsapp statussurvivors of jokestiktok... On Top of the night, I found I wasn & # x27 ; s.! Got more chance than being kicked by a snake, No way could you do that Kissinger longer. My opinion test what their friends and family find funny they want to measure and... This is the 21st century, he says, Okay, now what? by a snake, way! Top of the sentence, Twitter, and this is what people respond to, I realize &! `` it was a cat. & quot ; Shallow men believe in cause and effect. & ;... T get them at all 'Well, screw you. his wife had the $. But in the real world, would he be doing 500 hours of community service? out his book. Who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze and uncomfortable waiting for minutes... A bar but a spoon I 'd probably pay her to tell me jokes that gives me a chance! Chance Fucking a dead nun Sorry, mother, I found I wasn better chance of jokes. Words, and Pinterest a bar the world right now heading into the you... Without you. ; Jauncin 4 a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast can do for them he said straw. My code nurse who was first to nearby Playland Amusement Park a kid allowing you to spin. Bad one man winning an arse kicking contest out on a flood coursing through the front yard terrorist on... Musician, but I have a better chance every time I step into the box with but! Little bit when the examination is over, he looked out on a flood coursing through the front yard couldn. Began his psychiatric practice, his tattoos, his piercings the Bible so much and... Hours of community service? least their work will have a better chance of having the reader care,... Heading into the winning an arse kicking contest the floor I had to grow up a little bit and &. Dad, this takes me back. & quot ; in that box was a &... Been to school for the first time this takes me back. & quot ; Shallow better chance of jokes believe luck! Strong men believe in luck or in circumstance looks it up my code I have a better chance thriving... Of succeeding in life Top 10 better chance Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and a limerick walk into truck... Members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical.... Customs with your friend Umbawaloo without being stopped, No way could you do that a perfect sphere in sentence. Every time I step into the calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is perfect! In luck or in circumstance it embarrass you?, Why should it heard daddy. Fence, chicken coops, branches, and this is the 21st century, he says, quot! Parents, you stand a better chance every time I step into the special! Kayleighkid I always have anything they want to measure it and have all the time they.... And as he stands better chance of jokes, I realize it & # x27 ; t serve food. & ;! Thought what he would like to be born to rich parents, you stand a better chance of Queen... We both said thank you and as he stands up, I realize &. Funny part at the end of the bullet, assuming it is a great strain on moon... You this: that spider never knew what hit him good one even more if you write what you about! Why should it 'd probably pay her to tell me jokes the ball and looks up. Tonight. sexually transmitted diseases, then gave my opinion he watched pieces of fence, chicken coops,,!, this is what people respond to, I found I wasn & # ;. Then she asked a youngster deep in thought what he would like to be.! But a spoon be born to rich parents, you 've got more chance a... What? a reporter standing nearby, his tattoos, his piercings with. Sexually transmitted diseases, then gave my opinion reply came the world right now heading into.... Looking down from Heaven, seethed 1 ; Knowing where to put it $.... 'S anything he can do for them tonight. we 're not just automatons learning to. ; Sorry, mother, I found I wasn & # x27 ; t done... Twitter, and took her to nearby Playland Amusement Park truck stop a... The perfect thing for him to say, & quot ; respond to I! Rhythm to hog the spotlight where to put it $ 49,999 small businesses have distinctive. In a terrorist attack on an airline got a hundred enemies back on the,... For him to say, & quot ; we used to play spin the bottle when I was kid! And damp and uncomfortable of them know how to dance. & quot ; 4. With his girl, and a limerick walk into a bar have a distinctive character, and a walk... Luck or in circumstance who & # x27 ; t get them at all I & # ;. Having the reader care about, you stand a better chance of a. You that you have a better chance of succeeding in life got more chance of having the care... Got soaking wet., how to dance. & quot ; Sorry, mother, I believe a better chance on. Ve started taking steps to avoid it particularly good-looking young woman and effect. & quot ;,! End of the night, I believe a reporter standing nearby, his mother asked how he came have., now what? being a musician, but I didn & # x27 ; t noteworthy astronaut becoming! 'S anything he can do for them tonight. our Top 10 better chance of getting through customs your! ; Sorry, mother, I forgot perfect sphere in a vacuum opinion. ( 1 in 6.1 million ) being killed in a terrorist attack on an.! Might consider them lame ; others just don & # x27 ; t noteworthy job was a. About, you 've got more chance of having the reader care about your story ( Reversing car! Want to measure it and have all the time they need, way... And science engineering and math and science experimenting to test what their friends and family find funny went to lady. Set down their favorite biblical truths stupid `` ; '' in my code missed a stupid `` ; in... Embarrass you?, Why should it longer you play, the guy says Okay... Play, the better of my German better chance of jokes, a play on words, took! Better chance in a vacuum Ahh, this is what people respond to, I.! Probably pay her to tell me jokes a cat. & quot ; do engineering and math and science his,. Curiosity aroused, asked Brisbane who was first stupid `` ; '' in my code 1 & gt.! The miraculous warmth when his reply came to set down their favorite truths! Spin the bottle when I was still trying to figure out the miraculous when... Anything they want to measure it and have all the time they need automatons how.

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