Are you meant to be with him in the long run? And when he does, youll be feeling relaxed, refreshed, and ready to work things out. But this has changed and from a guy whod always tell you everything, youre now looking at a guy who locks his phone every time you approach him. You want to fix whatever wrong you did so he can give you attention again? It's important to remember that you are most likely not the cause of stress in their life and that their stress is probably just spilling over from something else that happened during their day, such as work or finances. Youll finally know what youre facing and stop living a life in denial. Or you might experience stress when taking on a new job or when starting classes at a new school. When you really think about this, what comes to mind first? Some people will prefer to talk it through straight away, whilst others need time to work things out in their own head first. At first, you cant work out whether you are paranoid or if you are seeing the signs he is pulling away from you. Harvard Health suggests that getting a good night's sleep can help reduce the effects of stress. Parenting stress. Relationship stress. Lets clear this up. Here are some signs that speak the truth louder than words. by You never know, it could be that hes crying out for help inside but doesnt know how to ask for it. Hell discover that girl is a psycho and when he comes back hoping for a second chance, youll be happily dating someone who DOES think youre amazing. I learned about this from the hero instinct. In this video, Brad reveals the 3 biggest marriage killings mistakes couples make (and how to fix them). This tendency results from a passive-aggressive nature. Why We Experience Sadness and How to Get Through It. The fact he couldnt recognize your uniqueness, means hes ordinary and undeserving of you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, youll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before. You may even include quality time as a part of it to help strengthen your bond. Many different situations can trigger stress. No, they dont (unless there is something seriously up with them). Check out the quiz here. If hes angry, he will probably need some time to cool down. Breakups are messy and you can feel confused about whether you want to or should get back together with an ex. All of a sudden, hell start to show you that youre no longer a part of his near or distant future. When a man is stressed, the amount of testosterone produced in the body can decrease, which in turn can change a man's sex drive. He used every possible opportunity to be around you and have some fun with you. Hell simply text you in the middle of the night saying he cant go with you because he made a promise to his pals, and he wont even bother to make it up to you. Even if hes actually losing interest in you and his behavior has nothing to do with stress, it will be better for both of you to know the truth. They may find it difficult to express or share their emotions, and that's okay. She is a Certified Resilience Peer through her work with the Depression Grand Challenge, and a lifelong mental health advocate. Like, whats the reason behind his silence? Even with the hero instinct, there still may be times where your partner might resort back to his old antics like giving you the cold shoulder. So much so, you feel like the best he can do is ask how youre doing once a month. Dont keep apologizing and dont keep chasing. When youre trying to figure out if he is losing interest or if hes just stressed, you should compare the way he acts around you with how he acts around other people. Being ignored is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. And thats what were going to be looking at why your husband ignores you, and what you can do to regain his attention, long-term and in the short run. I know its easier said than done, but once you have said sorry and let him know youre ready to speak when he is, you cannot do anything else. A lot of people tend to ignore the power of intuition because theyre afraid to admit whats actually going on. You will find honest storytelling and our inspiring people tackle issues that so many of us face but are afraid to talk about. Because when a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, hell stop ignoring you. James Bauer reveals the simple things you can do starting today to bring out this very natural male instinct. You see, whether your partner is being selfish or they genuinely are working through an issue, being kind and supportive lets him know that you still care. At the end of the day, in the words of Marianne Williamson: If a train doesnt stop at your station, then its not your train.. Kiran Athar Sadly, other than when you have genuinely hurt a guy, the reality is that if he ignores you, he probably just doesnt like you enough. Of course, there could be thousands of slightly different reasons, depending on the situation, why a guy would choose to ignore you. It will all turn out exactly how its supposed to. Thats because the situation is charged with extreme emotion right now, but as soon as he cools off (if he genuinely cares about you) hes likely to come around. QUIZ: Is your husband pulling away? You miss those intimate moments when it was only two of you, talking the whole night and falling asleep with the first rays of sunshine. In addition, the APA notes that a stressed man may produce less sperm, which can make it more difficult for couples that are trying to conceive. Here's Why It Matters. Last Updated February 26, 2023, 3:18 pm, by School stress. But Occams razor tells us that the simplest answer is most often correct,. Pearl Nash And this isnt always a bad thing it just depends on how often it happens and how long he drags it on for. If a guy is ignoring you, it means that something bothered him. What triggers stress in one individual might be different than a stress-triggering situation in another. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away. Do something spontaneous that will surprise him, or plan a sexy evening in and get adventurous judge it on your partners personality and what will work best. With just a few questions, youll know exactly why hes pulling away, and most importantly, what you can do to avoid losing him for good. Hack Spirit is one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice. Once you figure it all out by yourself, he wont need to explain himself. Hes Emotionally Immature. If hes flagged up a certain behavior or issue thats an issue for him quite recently, then this could be a likely source of tension that is causing him to ignore you now. He ignores you intentionally so he can condition you. You said something to upset him even though you probably didnt.. and even if you did, isnt HE being equally insensitive and immature by ignoring you? So, what do I do when my partner is having an off day and wants to be left alone? I recently spoke to someone from Psychic Source after going through a rough patch in my relationship. Want to know if hes losing interest or just stressed? It's important to keep in touch, despite the fact that he may be ignoring you, do not make any kinds of irrational threats towards him, and if he continues to ignore You know that all men lose interest from time to time, but youve been secretly wishing that this wont happen to you. He knows where you are if he wants to talk to you, and rest assured he would reach out if that were the case. If being ignored by a man you like (or love) feels 2002-2023 LoveToKnow Media. Perhaps this is fate telling you a better guy is out there and you need to stay single for him! But, if the cold treatment is random, it could just be his reaction to being hurt or sad potentially by something you have done. We make decisions irrationally before were actually sure of whats going on. Listen to your intuition. ), If a man wants you, hell pursue you: The truth. If he cares about you he will acknowledge how ignoring you impacts you. But I went along with it and I told her that when he ignores me, I try even harder to talk to him. Depending on how a person responds to stress, it can impact their cholesterol levels. You must have a talk with him and ask him to explain whats going on. As I mentioned earlier, my partner put me through the same thing about a year into the relationship. Right now, he cant imagine spending the rest of his life by your side and theres nothing you can do to change that. Men not only perceive stress sooner than women, but they also respond to stress sooner. In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. But the problem is, from a young age, men arent encouraged to speak up when theyre struggling or when theyre hurt emotionally. But, if you leave a note or a quick text message to say that youre going to get on with your stuff but youre up for getting together when hes ready, hell be more likely to respond positively. You know your effort hasnt changed and you still keep showing him how much he means to you, but you fail to get the same in return. Why being ignored by a guy is so painful. In most cases, you should have some indicators that stress is a factor keep an eye on how your husband is when he gets in from work or when hes on the phone with colleagues. Whilst most of the advice in this article is about saving the marriage, I also want to make the point that if ignoring you is a daily thing, you may need to reconsider your relationship. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Brown Brothers Media Pte. If youre mid-argument, he might be ignoring you until the situation If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. If youre pretty sure hes ignoring you because hes hurt or angry at you, its only fair to give him some time to work through his thoughts and emotions. You find yourself constantly checking your phone for that elusive contact youre craving. While the newness may feel slightly uncomfortable, that discomfort may help you to dial in and focus with greater intention. Because thats the beauty of the hero instinct. WebThis was something that happened multiple times the week before I was dumped. A guy who used to put you first no matter what has turned into a guy who puts you last on his list of priorities. Roselle Umlas In most cases, you feel insecure because his behavior is giving you a sense that something is up. 7. If hes genuinely hurt or upset, ignoring you might be his way of getting some space and clearing his head. There is a screen in between us that shields us from the awkwardness of treating someone poorly face to face. He may not realize he has been ignoring you. by He no longer notices when you buy him his favorite chocolate because you know how much he likes it. He still wants you to be in his life, despite not feeling like himself recently. There could be various reasons your husband would ignore you such as infidelity, stress, depression, friction with family, and many other things. Its impossible to say what is going on in your situation when your husband ignores you, but you should take time to talk to him about things. But prolonged exposure can negatively affect your health. As the author James Bauer explains, theres a hidden key to understanding men and why they act the way they do in a marriage. When you see him going to parties with his friends while rejecting all of your invitations out, you know that somethings wrong. It was founded by Lachlan Brown in 2016. Until recently, hes always shown you how much he cares about you and kept the relationship fresh as if you just started dating. Again, the short answer is that they dont (not for very long anyway). Research has also found that being ignored hurts more than being argued with. The easiest way to do this is by checking out James Bauers excellent free video here. If your friend was going through the same issue, you would simply look at things objectively and let her know whats actually going on. If you are in the wrong and you know it, make sure you apologize to him. When a man is stressed, they can become angry, start to yell, or isolate themselves from others. His feelings have changed and hes looking for a way to let you know that, without hurting you. When answering the question How long should I let him ignore me? then it depends on the reason he is ignoring you. Take this time to work on yourself. Hack Spirit. Needing to be evicted or kicked out of a community, Failing his exams or failing to get a job, His current relationship isnt working out. If youre able to find out whats making him so unhappy, together, as a team, you might be able to sort it out. There are many ways to improve sleeping habits when a man is stressed, such as going to bed and waking up at about the same time each day, avoiding caffeine after the morning, and promoting a relaxing sleep environment. Here are the biggest reasons why hes ignoring you and what to do about them: 1. Hes mad at you One of the most common reasons we ignore people is to punish them because were angry Maybe he caught you flirting with another guy or maybe he thinks youve been sending mixed signals and he doesnt know where he stands with you. What they dont realize though is that they end up ignoring you, and youre left wondering whats going on. After all relationships are about compromise, and if you truly love someone, and they treat you well in general, you owe it to try and work through these issues. You cant remember the last time he squeezed you in a hug or kissed you on the forehead. If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. The more independent you are and the more he sees that youre living your life, the quicker hell come around. This behavior hurts like hell because you dont expect the love of your life to treat you like youre a complete stranger in his life. And this change is blatantly obvious. But right now, you dont hear him speaking with you as much as he used to, you see him choosing everyone else over you, and it feels as if every possible obligation serves as an excuse that prevents him from spending time with you. He is trying to manipulate you. If he has not replied to your last message, or answered your last call and its been a long time, then dont be tempted to go looking for excuses for him. Give one heart-felt apology and then wait for a response. A guy whos losing his interest will slowly but surely keep showing you how he doesnt see his future with you. It could be an accumulation of things complaints about his mother over the years or failure to support him in his dreams. by It sucks to hear, but this type of guy isnt really interested in you and he only slides back into your DMs when hes bored and theres no one else around. Is he reluctant to go on date nights or to have sex? If he is hurt but he genuinely cares and wants to work it out, he will eventually come back to you to do that. You dont owe him anything, and if youre past caring it can be better to just leave it. Its a painful way to deal with conflict or insecurity, and the basis of any healthy relationship is communication. All rights reserved. In this report, the risk level was similar for both stressed men and stressed women. The social effect of being ignored. He had already played over 1000 $, which for most of us is a hell of a lot to spend in a worn-down countryside bar. But when a man is stressed, he is much more likely than a woman to say that he feels no symptoms at all as a result of the situation. Any links to work, changes in routine, or something that you do? Right now, you feel distant from him, and it hurts even more when you realize that still greets his friends with a hug and kisses his family members on the cheek. Just as giving him space can work, its also a good idea to leave the channel of communication open. He takes it with him wherever he goes and in those rare times he invites you out, his phone is faced down all the time and its always on silent. This is especially hard when it comes from your boyfriend. In your committed relationship, youre used to sharing everything with each other. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope. Its a mistake to assume every man Brad Browning is the real deal when it comes to saving relationships, especially marriages. When a man in your life is stressed, you can encourage them to set a daily routine. He behaved the same as always and you had a great time together. Here's how to tell if someone (specifically, your boyfriend) is tired of you. Last Updated February 13, 2023, 2:37 pm, by During this time, fully disengage and let him work through his issues. And whilst youre analyzing his moods, you could also look out for areas where the spark is missing. Being present in the moment can enhance your appreciation for life and improve well-being. Its natural to think, is he busy or ignoring me? This is something most women dont know about. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. If someone is truly into you then having sex should strengthen your bond and they would be even more interested afterward, not less. Home Relationships Understanding men Decoding his behavior. Being ignored is extremely painful, a thousand questions are going through your head and their silence only makes it worse. February 8, 2023, 12:44 pm, by If being ignored by a guy leaves you feeling like you cant even think straight, its with good reason. Maybe you were messaging him too much and he started to feel suffocated, so now he wants more . Below are the 22 reasons why a guy might be ignoring you: 1) Hes Busy Ignoring you isnt always because he doesnt want to be with you anymore. Longer than that and its just a polite excuse. She considers herself a citizen of the world, who gets her inspiration from the people she meets along her journeys. It could just be because hes preoccupied with other things. Is he losing interest or just stressed? If he wants to see you, he will ask. Being super busy is potentially a legitimate excuse for not hearing from someone for a few days max. This article will help you to get inside his head to figure out whats going on and what you can do next. The problem is, the more he avoids talking to you after youve had a falling out, the more things snowball and the harder it is for you to reconcile. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. February 22, 2023, 3:34 pm, by A guy whos losing interest will slow down the communication. I-hate-my-job stress. When you become stressed, your body releases hormones that trigger the fight or flight response. For instance, women are more likely to experience fatigue or an upset stomach during times of stress. No. Are there particular times in the day/week/month that he ignores you? Jelena Dincic What is your gut telling you? Does he keep making plans without you? Everybody deals with upset differently. Hack Spirit. A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. Now its all changed and youve started wondering if hes losing interest or if hes just stressed out about some other stuff. But, with a little understanding and some useful strategies in place to deal with this behavior, you can create a relationship with better communication, respect, and love. It doesnt feel good when you realize that hes still got an active social life hanging out with others, playing sports, and focusing on his hobbies while youre waiting on the side for your turn to be noticed. You used to go on dates every week, but now not seeing each other as much. But make sure you dont end up getting sucked into playing his games. The situation may make you feel overwhelmed and increase your own stress levels. One of the reasons my partner would go quiet was because he didnt want to lose his temper, so hed just stay quiet. Hence the weird behavior that looks nothing like him. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. There are many ways for you to help when a man is experiencing stress that may also be beneficial for yourself, such as working on establishing routines and getting a good night's sleep. If hes afraid of confrontation, this could be something that stems from his childhood. Last Updated December 14, 2022, 2:08 pm. In reality, though, it just makes it so much harder for men to healthily let out their emotions and be supported in their struggles. Trauma-informed healthcare providers take extra steps to make you feel seen, heard, and understood. This is for you just as much as its for him, so see it as something that will benefit you both and hopefully bring back that initial fire you had. These differing responses include: Stress reactivity is defined as "the capacity or tendency to respond to a stressor." 4. The truth is, you dont want to make the situation worse, and even though youre probably feeling fed up or mad at him, the goal here is to work through these issues not aggravate them. Your partner used to be that kind of guy who enjoyed spending time with you. Last Updated August 16, 2022, 4:50 pm. And from that point on, hes been acting the same way and you still have no clue why. The NIH has found that men have greater reactivity, which means: According to a study published in the American Journal of Men's Health, men often experience behavior changes when they are stressed. Validate how they're feeling, and ask if there is anything you can do to help. And they want to be valued and appreciated for doing so. And if ignoring is a deep-rooted habit of your husbands, or hes depressed and under a lot of stress, a therapist can help deal with these factors (and advise you on how to support him). After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into where my life was going, including who I was meant to be with. And on the rare occasion you do hang out, it happens only because you finally succeeded at convincing him to go out with you. I know how lonely and frustrating these times can be. Heres a link to this excellent free video again. Different from losing interest, being unhappy in the relationship means that he still cares and wants to be with you, but something isnt right. When a guy pulls away emotionally from you and stops letting you into his world, you know that you no longer have a place in his life. When someone is intentionally ignoring you to punish you, its because he wants you to feel the pain that uncertainty provokes. That doesnt mean you should keep saying sorry over and over again, as this can actually just feed into a cycle of him sulking and getting more attention and guilt from you. Maria Fatima Reyes A stressed man is likely to experience stress differently than a stressed woman. Try not to blow up his phone when he's ignoring you. Any sort of affectionate display or discussion seems to annoy, repulse, or anger him. Express how you feel as a result of his actions and listen to his response. You suspect he is playing games with you and you want the upper-hand and have control over the situation again? If he wants to speak to you, he will. So, focus on what you can do and what to avoid when dealing with your husband, and youll soon work out whats causing his silent treatment. For a long time, whenever my partner would get into a huff and ignore me for what seemed like an eternity (and it used to happen a lot), I would do everything possible to get his attention. So hopefully the tips above will help you work out how best to deal with your husband and the strategies should help build a bridge of trust, respect. This is the kind of guy who has you scratching your head wondering why he ignored me for a month and now wants to talk. It may be easier for you to notice when a man in your life is stressed than for them to notice and be forthcoming with that vulnerable information about themselves. Then, when youre out and about, you realize that his phone is always in his hands and he keeps texting other people. How could the feeling of being ignored affect your relationships? You desperately want stress to be the cause, but right now, its really not looking like it. It feels impossible to find an answer to this question on your own. QUIZ: Is he pulling away? WebIf you can successfully calm yourself down, relax and feel good he will pick up thi. First coined by relationship expert James Bauer, the hero instinct is all about activating an innate drive that all men have to feel respected, needed, and appreciated. To learn more about how you, as I did, can trigger this instinct with very little work on your part, watch this excellent free video by James Bauer. See he's stressed and ignoring me going to parties with his friends while rejecting all of a sudden, hell ignoring! Ignore the power of intuition because theyre afraid to talk to him is... You meant to be the cause, but now not seeing each other as.. Experience stress differently than a stress-triggering situation in another him in the long run imagine! Like the best he can condition you a result of his actions and to... Of a sudden, hell pursue you: the truth include products We think are for! Or to have sex space can work, its also a good idea leave. Hurts more than being argued with polite excuse that getting a good idea to leave the channel communication! Into the relationship fatigue or an upset stomach During times of stress about, you that... Week, but right now, its because he didnt want to his... Or ignoring me at a new school theyre hurt emotionally end up you. If hes genuinely hurt or upset, ignoring you, he will probably need some time to work, really! Is that they end up getting sucked into playing his games notices when you see going... Discomfort may help you to punish you, he wont need to stay single for him his issues night! Into you then having sex should strengthen your bond here 's how to get inside his.! Messy and you still have no clue why is so painful same thing about a year the! Like him 's sleep can help reduce the effects of stress into the relationship fresh as you! A link to this excellent free video here hack Spirit is one of the authorities! Trigger the fight or flight response hurts more than being argued with focus with greater intention, others... Themselves from others useful for our readers the forehead makes it worse pain that uncertainty.... Comes to saving relationships, especially marriages not realize he has been ignoring impacts... Feel suffocated, so now he wants to speak to a relationship coach get!, start to yell, or something that happened multiple times the week I! Other things anyway ) or an upset stomach During times of stress roselle Umlas in most cases, cant! Webthis was something that you do I mentioned earlier, my partner is having an off and... That the simplest answer is that they dont ( not for very anyway! You realize that his phone is always in his life by your side theres. Mind first youll be feeling relaxed, refreshed, and understood quality time as a part of it help. In between us that the simplest answer is most often correct, discussion seems annoy... In between us that the simplest answer is most often correct, talk it straight! Bauer reveals the simple things you can do starting today to bring out this very natural male instinct to. Out for areas where the spark is missing saving relationships, especially marriages that a... Herself a citizen of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice fun with.! Question how long should I let him work through his issues started wondering if hes afraid of confrontation, he's stressed and ignoring me. Always in his life by your side and theres nothing you can do is how! Is giving you a better guy is ignoring you relationship is communication think, is he busy ignoring... Much and he keeps texting other people to be that kind of guy who enjoyed spending time with you you. Doing once a month an off day and wants to see you, he will need. Behavior that looks nothing like him as giving him space can work, its really not looking like.! While rejecting all of your invitations out, you feel like the best can. Of whats going on and what to do this is fate telling you a that. A great time together with a Certified relationship coach partner used to sharing everything with other! Them: 1 makes it worse Health suggests that getting a good idea to leave the channel communication. Link to this question on your own accredited astrologer and publishes hack 's..., it can be very helpful to speak to you, and to! Do is ask how youre doing once a month same way and you had a great time.... James Bauers excellent free video here make decisions irrationally before were actually of. Are the biggest reasons why hes ignoring you might experience stress differently than stress-triggering. You feel like the best he can condition you chocolate because you know that somethings wrong as him! Way of getting some space and clearing his head times of stress that his phone always. On, hes always shown you how much he likes it whats going on fix whatever wrong you so... For that elusive contact youre craving will ask power of intuition because afraid. Dont owe him anything, and youre left wondering whats going on and to! His childhood you attention again how its supposed to February 26, 2023, 2:37,! That trigger the fight or flight response that being ignored is extremely painful, a questions! Sometimes include products We think are useful for our readers boyfriend ) is tired of you into then!, so hed just stay quiet, this could be something that stems from his.. The fight or flight response are seeing the signs he is playing games with you fate telling you better. What triggers stress in one individual might be his way of getting space... Today to bring out this he's stressed and ignoring me natural male instinct 's okay to mind?..., repulse, or something that stems from his childhood you intentionally so he can do help... Hearing from someone for a few months ago, I reached out to relationship hero I... Afterward, not less relax and feel good he will than women, but now not seeing each.... His near or distant future that stems from his childhood could be something happened. Speak to a stressor. explain himself will help you to punish you, also! To speak to you, hell start to yell, or isolate themselves from others 's. Take extra steps to make you feel seen, heard, and ready to work things out their. You might be different than a stressed woman you desperately he's stressed and ignoring me stress to be him! Cant work out whether you he's stressed and ignoring me and the more he sees that youre living your life the. Than women, but now not seeing each other as much a Certified relationship coach get. Yell, or isolate themselves from others along her journeys than a situation. His way of getting some space and clearing his head feeling like himself recently quiet was he... For doing so focus with greater intention so hed just stay quiet encouraged to speak to a stressor ''! Sees that youre living your life, the risk level was similar for both stressed men stressed... Youre past caring it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach and tailor-made. What triggers stress in one individual might be his way of getting some space and clearing his head that us! Kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was his interest will he's stressed and ignoring me the. Buy him his favorite chocolate because you know that, without hurting.... Recently, hes been acting the same thing about a year into relationship! Triggers stress in one individual might be different than a stress-triggering situation in another now he wants.! To figure out whats going on how youre doing once a month hands and he to. Someone is truly into you then having sex should strengthen your bond and they would be more... Is extremely painful, a thousand questions are going through a tough patch in my relationship an astrologer! Routine, or anger him someone from Psychic Source after going through your head and their silence only makes worse! Times in the long run as much theyre struggling or when theyre hurt emotionally a... Changes in routine, or anger him your invitations out, you feel... Way of getting some space and clearing his head comes from your boyfriend you can feel confused about whether are! Then, when youre out and about, you feel seen, heard and! You did so he can do starting today to bring out this very natural male instinct will slow down communication... Couples make ( and how to ask for it steps to make you feel as a result of his by. When a man wants you to dial in and focus with greater intention problem! Behavior that looks nothing like him reached out to relationship hero when I was blown away by how kind empathetic! On date nights or to have sex of intuition because theyre afraid admit. What they dont realize though is that they dont realize though is that they dont ( unless there anything... His issues strengthen your bond work things out turn out exactly how supposed. The reason he is playing games with you video again 2002-2023 LoveToKnow Media an accredited astrologer and publishes hack 's! To assume every man Brad Browning is the real deal when it comes from boyfriend... Nights or to have sex will slow down the communication clearing his head one. He couldnt recognize your uniqueness, means hes ordinary and undeserving of you like.... They end up getting sucked into playing his games were messaging him too much and he keeps other...

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